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April 29, 2007

Don Imus and the New Testament

Hey everybody (well not Everybody, if that were the case I would actually be getting paid for this drivel). Anyway, hello to the few of you who take the time to read my little entries - I know there are a few of you, because I have received your emails. Some have asked my thoughts on the whole Don Imus, Al Sharpton thing. As most of you know, I avoid the socio-politico arena like the plague; personally I love rolling around in the arena, but I like keeping my particular rants to myself.

My wife just informed me that she wishes that were true, but her concerns are a tad misguided. Because of our mutual belief in Genesis, as a married couple we are “one flesh.” Therefore, my innocuous little rants to her whilst we are watching the news, are really in essence to myself, i.e. “we are one.” So her complaints are nothing more than a childish notion that she wishes things were outside the reality of what they are.

With that said, if that doesn’t convince you that I am a moron, and not worthy of listening to on any other issue, then perhaps the next couple of sentences should seal the deal for you.

Whatever happened to Don Imus was the direct result of a capitalistic system at work. He was in the business of pleasing business, the business that was pleased became displeased and pulled out. Right or wrong, that’s it. What I don’t understand is the immediate knee jerk reaction to go and apologize to an entire racial community for moronic statements made to a few. I will be honest with you, I have heard some pretty nasty remarks made about Mr. Imus’ appearance, and I don’t see anyone going to Billy Graham and apologizing to the entire Caucasian community. Heck, you could fill an entire library with all of the disparaging things said about Brittany Spears, again I don’t see anyone apologizing to the collective trailer park communities in America.

Honestly, I don’t know anyone who has signed a paper turning over their speech rights to the Reverends Al and Jesse; how did they get to be the sole arbiters of speech for an entire collective?  But while I am on the subject of “men of the cloth,” I do have my concerns about how this whole thing was handled from a Christian perspective. This I know a little about.

IF, and I mean if with a capital “IF,” Jesse and Al were truly men of the cloth, when Imus approached them and asked them for forgiveness they would have instinctively suggested that was between him and God, and suggested after he was right with God, then maybe he should sojourn over to Rutgers and try to make amends to the young ladies he obviously offended. But, Reverends Al and Jesse, blinded by the log in their own eyes, and with pride and arrogance oozing from every pore of their being, had the nerve to tell the world that they were withholding said forgiveness. Now that, for Christian men of God, is the purest definition of blasphemy.

In their defense, I understand the Bible is a really thick book, and I am sure it has been a while since they graduated from seminary - perhaps they just haven’t gotten to the New Testament, yet. I myself have to confess it took me forever to read past Numbers. If that is the case, I hope they can forgive me. I will be waiting for the press conference.

Trust me, I don’t have any concerns for anyone involved in this: the Rutgers girls will go on to be as successful off the court as well as on, (if I know America and I think I do, look for these lovely young girls to participate in a Clairol commercial sometime soon.) Because humor is the ultimate sign of healing, by the way, if there is any justice in the universe, in a few months, Imus will be working in the same studio as Howard Stern on satellite radio, where their collective egos will collide and create a huge cloudburst of irrelevance.

P.S. Tami wanted me to tell anyone reading this, that “everything” (emphasis on “everything”) I write in regards to anything has nothing to do with what she thinks, despite Genesis.

(What do expect from someone who voted for Clinton not only once, but twice; please forgive us.) She has insisted that I tell you who I voted for in the nineties, not once but twice. It was Perot. I loved that little guy.

April 26, 2007

Banished from Canada?

Hey everybody, been a long time between blogs. No excuses, just lazy. Also, not much to say, when you write about your life, you are kind of at the mercy of said life. Just took a couple of weeks off to recharge the mental batteries before this long run on the West Coast.

Just finished working in Calgary, where, by the way, I discovered that I was a felon. They almost didn’t let me into their country because of an incident that happened back in 1982. They asked me if I had been rehabilitated. “Duh, I think so” is not the proper answer if you are ever put in that situation.

It’s an odd feeling not to be invited into a country, trust me. In my life I have done some really stupid things and made a jerk out of myself and have been asked to leave places - but never has an entire nation said to me, “Nah, we don’t want your kind walking around here, anywhere! Now get out, eh!” I now have to contact the Canadian consulate in New York and get permission from them to enter the country the next time. No offense to the Canadian government, but perhaps if I just lied and said that I was AWOL from my American military unit since 1982 they would not only have let me in no questions asked, but given me an apartment to help me get going.

Enough said. I just finished working last night with the Hoppers, the Isaacs and a myriad of quartets in
Fresno California. Had a blast with the audience - Gospel music fans not only laugh, but seem to love to laugh. It is an honor that after all these years, they let a crusty old night club comic be part of their family.

Anyway, on to the Homecoming shows all next week on the west coast, looking forward to it - it has been a while. Hope to see you all there in Phoenix, San Diego, Bakersfield and Oakland.

In His name,

Jeff