Jeff Allen's Weblog

Backing Off the Java

Sorry for the delay in writing, no excuse other than I am weaning my body of caffeine. It’s all I can do to stay out of jail. Kids, caffeine is bad. With all the Starbucks going in around the world, no wonder we are having a problem with civility. And here I thought it was the denial of the existence of a moral absolute. Silly me. We are just over-caffeinated.

As some of you know, Tami and I have just returned from Nicaragua; we were on a mission’s trip with World Vision. I don’t have time to go into great detail right this moment, but let me just say the trip has changed our lives - and consequently what we want to do with our lives. I am only grateful that I didn’t try to make that trip without caffeine; I might not have gotten out of the country.

Tami and I are getting ready to head off to the Caribbean with Bill and Gloria Gaither, an option that 95% of the planet will never have. Hence we will try not to complain too much about the quality of the food or whether or not our cabin will face the sunset. We are blessed people. We are also sinful enough to forget that. Count your blessings today. I know I will be - one decaf at a time.

Jeff

Escape from the Sad Reality

Well, it finally worked. All the cajoling that my family has been doing for the last 20+ hours has finally talked me down from the roof. I am not sure why, other than the Bears’ loss, as to why I would want to jump off my roof, which by the way is only four feet from the hedges. (My wife said she didn’t want me ruining her hedges in my suicide attempt. This is the same woman who dropped me off at the emergency room during my “heart attack” and went shopping at Marshall’s.) I knew in my heart that the Colts were a better team, but it didn’t stop me from wishing it to be different.

Oh well, at least the food was good. To be honest with you, I ate so much of the Italian Beef that I passed out, and woke up in the middle of the television show Criminal Minds. Only to find out that the Bears lost the Super Bowl. I’d like to think it won’t be 21 more years before the next one. My wife, in what has become apparent to me in a sadistic streak, Tivo’d the game thinking I wanted to watch the carnage. I started to watch it, and about halfway into the second half I realized there was no hope, Grossman’s evil twin had shown up. This is when I grabbed another Beef sandwich, and a slice of pizza, and climbed up on the roof. Twenty hours later, I am writing this drivel to you. Anyway, I got a new hat in the process.

Tami and I are on our way to Nicaragua with World Vision. Don’t think we will run into a whole lot of Colts fans there. Life has a way of working out.

Where The Beef Is

I don’t have much time to write this, the wife has been stalking me for the past few days, trying to keep you guys from getting the truth. The truth is, I ordered the “Beef” from Chicago, and it arrived only twenty minutes ago. So, now I can do what she asked of me, make “real Chicago Italian Beef” in my kitchen. She thinks that if I tell you I spent money on getting the stuff shipped to my home, you all will think I am a fool. Anyone who knows me, knows that “I” think I am a fool, so does it really matter that you all think me one?

Anyway, I hear her coming down the hall, I have to go stash the beef in the fridge so that she won’t find it. Come Sunday, I will produce two pounds of heaven in the form of a sandwich, and the beauty is, she will think I made it myself.

By the way, I should mention that I am leaving the country next week, going to Nicaragua with World Vision, going to visit my Nicaraguan chillens, among other things. Pray I won’t need too much Imodium D - and that the new dictator doesn’t ask me who I voted for. Talk to you in about 10 days. Peace, Jeff